Let me start by saying that over the past year I have grown to enjoy listening to audiobooks in my car. Sometimes, I just need the calming tone of someone’s voice reading a story or a famous person talking about the life in an audio version of their biography or memoir. Often, I enjoy this on the way to work or school, or when I’m driving at night and just want to start to relax a bit.
I just finished listening to the audiobook of Yes, Please – written and read aloud by Amy Poehler, as well as special guests such as Seth Meyers and Kathleen Turner, and even her parents! It was probably the best audiobook I’ve listened to so far! It makes you laugh, it makes you think, and it’s quotable, which is what I love in an audiobook.
I won’t go into much more story detail than that, because you may want to enjoy it for yourself. But I had to share the part in Amy’s book that struck me the most. It was I think Thursday last week when I heard this particular chapter on my way to work, where Amy states:
“Either way, we both agree that ambivalence is a key to success. I will say it again. Ambivalence is key. You have to care about your work but not the result. You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but now about how good people think you are or how good people think you look. I realize this is extremely difficult. I am not saying I am particularly good at it. I’m like you. Or maybe you’re better at this than I am. You will never climb Career Mountain and get to the top and shout, ‘I made it!’ You will rarely feel done or complete or even successful. Most people I know struggle with that complicated soup of feeling slighted on one hand and like a total fraud on the other. Our ego is a monster that loves to sit at the head of the table, and I have learned that my ego is just as rude and loud and hungry as everyone else’s. It doesn’t matter how much you get; you are left wanting more. Success is filled with MSG.”
My Translation = Wow, ambivalence is key! The less you show that you really care, the more likely you are to get what you want because you won’t scare people away or piss people off on your way to success. Hard work is important, but don’t perseverate on what you want so much that it’s all you think about, because if you only get something similar, or half of what you want, you will be more dissatisfied because it wasn’t your goal, than grateful for the smaller success you have just had! Mind = Blown!
I can also relate this to other aspects of my life, such as a relationship. I’ve been told multiple times that I will find a boyfriend when I stop looking. In the past, I have put so much emphasis and energy on looking, that when I do date, I end up disappointed because I so badly wanted that relationship to be ‘the one’. But this statement, about ambivalence, means that if I stop thinking about finding a boyfriend (which I have, I can honestly say that) that I will still get what I want one day. And I won’t intentionally drive it away by putting too much energy into it!
And, since I also know that timing is everything – it is interesting that the morning I listen to this advice on the drive in to work, I find out something that will promote my success and will be a great opportunity, but that I can not fully disclose at this time. Let’s just say that I couldn’t believe the coincidence and timing of it all!
Pretty powerful stuff Amy Poehler, so thank you.
K M H 